Destroy, Destroy, Destroy!
by LadyCrow
Summary: A side story to "We are not wizards".....Modern muggle world meets medieval magic world... chaos ensues.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters you may recognise from the book. All of them belong to that wonderful writer J.K Rowlings. 

This is a side story to We are not wizards.

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Destroy, Destroy, Destroy!!!

Lupin and Snape glared at each other, nothing had been the same since that day Anita and J.P told them about the things they had read on that infamous in-tor-net, those terrible stories about them and about most of the people they actually knew.

That some sick minds could actually pair them up as... ugh... lovers.

"How could someone think of that kind of... aberration. 

I mean.. how could I ever fall for you! Of all people! Your hair is WAY too greasy!"

The two teachers shuddered at the memory of the description of the so called "slash fanfics". They didn't believe what Anita had said, half hoping it to be a cruel joke of some sort. But then J.P and Anita had taken them to a "Cypher Café" or something like that and showed them that it was true. There, in a box, written black on white, stood terrible, terrible stories about Snape and Lupin, and most of the other people from the books. Even poor professor Dumbledore had been mentioned.

Snape cringed as he remember the one describing him as using "spiffy pink boxers".

"Pink.. as if I could ever wear pink! And even less boxers. I like a healthy breeze around my privates.

Besides, pink is definitely not my colour."

But now, now they would make sure that no one else would read the horrible literature stored in the com-pu-tras. Tonight they would go to this "Cypher Café" and cast an Oblivate spell on everyone there before destroying the infamous box where the filthy literature was stored. They had been quite shocked when they also saw that there were several pieces of "art" revolving around the same subjects of the stories.. it was sickening. 

All day they had been planning the heist, carefully deciding to strike at the end of the day, when there were few people in the place.

They had convinced Anita to guide them back to the "Cypher Café" one the sun had gone down, thing that she reluctantly had agreed to at first. Only to agree enthusiastically when Snape threatened her to take away fifty points from Ravenclaw, and Lupin another fifty.

The sun touched the horizon as two wizards and one witch landed close to the "Cypher Café". Anita looked slightly exasperated, while Lupin and Snape looked anxious.

The café was almost completely empty, only two tenders and equal number of clients were still lingering inside the store.

Lupin nodded to Snape, who nodded in return. Moving as one they entered the "Cypher Café", throwing Oblivate spells at the four people in the shop.

Anita just sighed and followed them.

Once she was inside the shop she simply groaned as she saw Snape and Lupin both throwing several Oblivate spells at each of the computers of the café. She lifted her hand as to call for the attention of the two adults, but was met with a snarl from Snape.

"Be quiet Miss Salinas. These com-pu-tars have been charmed with powerful ward spells. My Oblivate spell just bounce off them, and Lupin' spells as well. This in-tor-net must be very magical!"

Anita groaned once more and decided to keep quiet. If they were going to be so stubborn and not listen to her well, then they didn't deserve to know what she was going to tell them.

After several minutes of curses and hexes Snape and Lupin came to the conclusion that the spells protecting the com-pu-tars and the in-tor-net was too powerful to be breached by any of their hexes and spells.

Exhausted and magically drained they decided that the only thing that remained was to physically destroy all the com-pu-tars that were in the room, thus obliterating the in-tor-net and the foul literature and art.

Both of them shot out several bursting spells, causing the computers to explode in flames.

Anita slapped her hand to her forehead at the stubbornness of the grown mages, but what could they possibly know about the muggle world.

After smashing each and every one of the computers to pieces Lupin and Snape threw another oblivate spell on the muggles who were still in the shop before taking their leave as fast as possible before the Ministry of Magic arrived to investigate what had gone on.

All the way home Anita had to listen to the victory song of the two wizards. Making her wish she knew the silencing spell. Lupin and Snape may both be great teachers, but they were no singers.

As they arrived back at Hogwarts Anita was met by her three friends, all of them noticing the happy mood of the two teachers, Snape was even smiling.

"So, how did things go?"

J.P asked as he looked from Snape and Lupin to Anita.

"Terrible, they thrashed the place. And they didn't want to listen to my idea of planting a virus on the web page that hosted the fanfics and the fanart.

So in the end they just smashed all the computers. They actually believe they destroyed the internet with that."

Anita sighed and looked at the two teachers that were congratulating each other still, actually planning to go to Hogsmead and celebrate with a bottle of Firewhiskey. She couldn't help to notice how satisfied both Lupin and Snape looked. And then of course there was the fact that for once they weren't at each other's throat.

Dom looked after the two teachers and then back at Anita.

"Should we tell them?"

Anita shook her head while smiling widely at her three friends.

"Na... In this case, ignorance is bliss."

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Just a wacky little idea I had when thinking about Lupin and Snape actually finding out about slash fiction... and what they would do about it.

I am not against slash fiction... I don't particularly enjoy it but I can't say it bothers me.

Please don't kill me.

I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE!


End file.
